How much do you weigh? That question seems to be asked of us all too often. It’s something that I never really gave all that much thought to as someone who had maintained relatively the same weight since university. However, as I’ve learned more about taking a weight-neutral approach to healthcare, and experienced the changes that my body went through during pregnancy and postnatally, it’s something that I find myself thinking about a lot.
So many of us tie our identities up in our size and part of that is our weight. We think of ourselves as being a certain height and weight and we talk about those things as if they’re static numbers but for many of us, that’s not the case. When we gain or lose weight unintentionally it’s as if suddenly our identities are called into question. We’re not the person that others are meeting for the first time; the real me is someone who’s 20 pounds lighter, or 10 pounds heavier.
The thing is though, our bodies change, and that’s normal and okay. Many of us gain a few pounds in the winter (there’s even a word for it in German: winterspeck) only to shed them again in the warmer months. Most people will weigh more in middle age than we did as young adults. And yet, we think that we need to be the same weight as our youthful selves. We talk about losing those “last 10 pounds” as if some weight on a BMI chart is our “true” weight. As if once we attain that weight we will have reached our final destination and our weight will never change again.
We are all changing all the time. Our bodies are always changing and it’s foolish of us to think that our weight is a magically unchanging fact about ourselves. It’s okay not to be the same size that you were 20 years ago, or two months ago. You are no more or less worthy of love and acceptance if your body is larger or smaller than it was in the past or will be in the future. You are no more or less yourself if you gain or lose weight. Your identity does not hinge on numbers on a scale.